Doubting

I just keep doubting and not trusting. I keep asking him, 'how do I know this is what I should pray for', 'why would you want me to hurt?', 'this seems foolish and I should get over it,right?'. Then he reminds me that he has answered my prayers so far. I'm reminded that I can't rely on my experiences and my instinct. That isn't faith. That is easier, though. So, I'm going with it. He HAS answered my prayers so far. Not exactly the way I thought they should be answered, but answered none the less. I'll keep having faith or actually 'keep' isn't really the word I should use it's more like 'will have'.