Dating, etc.

Dating…this post has been a long time in the making. I probably write it in my head 1-2 times a week. I just don’t know how much to share. In dating it’s not just me there is always another person involved. So, while some things may seem funny to myself they are often at the expense of the other person. Also, previous blog posts have not been so light hearted. I believe a blog is meant to document parts of my life. My previous posts have done so and now this is documenting what I’m currently thinking so while they might not seem to run smoothly together they do reflect my life which often seems fragmented and like pieces of a puzzle that don’t quite fit together but you cram them together anyway because you are honestly sick of trying to find the right piece. Yep, that sums up my dating life.

Let me start out with some dating “tid bits”. I use eHarmony for most of my dating experiences. After meeting Jonathon on this site, I had no problem sharing how we had met because he was such an awesome guy…we had as many know the perfect dating experience the first few months. Then the last six months happened and I don’t really want to get into that and if anyone is reading this chances are very likely that I know you and you know the lifetime movie that is “JonandWendysdatinghistory”. I don’t know why I have that in quotes or without spaces. Anyway, e-Harmony…Internet dating is not the "scary meet someone 500 miles away leave your husband of 20 years to marry the porn star" scenario that it used to be. It’s actually quite commonplace among the singles of today especially if you are trying to date someone of similar faith; as I am attempting to do.

Here are some dating don’ts:

Don’t text and date…. similar consequences to texting and driving. You think you’re ok then you suddenly end up upside down in a ditch. Texting takes the place of actually talking to someone…as in having a conversation…over the phone. You can text till you’re hearts desire without actually saying anything OR you can say things you would never feel comfortable saying to someone in person or even in a phone conversation. IF you are not comfortable saying things in person or in a phone conversation then you need to man up or not say said things. Texting is not like talking on the phone. The other person has the choice to respond quickly or not…that sucks. It sucks to both wait for a text and it sucks to get yelled at for not responding quickly enough to a text. You know how to avoid that situation? Talk to people on the phone. Don’t text and date.

Texting is also a way of keeping someone waiting in the wings while you’re seeing if this other person you just met might turn up to be a better dating partner. You no longer need to call people when you date you just have to send them a text 1-2 times a week to keep them around. I get that you will date other people. I’m cool with that. I’m 31…I’ve chosen to date other people. I just like to be up front about it. I’m honest in dating. If I don’t like you I’ll probably let you know. Actually my face is pretty expressive you’ll probably be able to tell without me saying anything. I’ll end there…there may be more…

05/24/09

Struggling seems to be a topic I run into over and over again lately. It seems safe to say that everyone is struggling somehow whether it is due to the economy, family or personal heartbreak. Today I read 1Thesselonians 3:3 

...so that no one would be disturbed by these afflictions; for you yourselves know that we have been destined for this.

I was reading this as part of a bible study I'm doing and the topic this week is assurance in victory. This verse stood out to me as I was sitting in church listening to the pastor preach on faith. After reading this verse I think it's important to remember that as Christians we are destined for affliction. We are meant to live a life that imitates Christ and a life that each day brings us closer to God. To grow closer we must need him; we must need to deepen our faith. These struggles may be a part of our Christan life. It's difficult to imagine that a loving God would want us to struggle and would willingly allow hurt to be brought into our lives. In this I go back to finding comfort in not needing to understand God. Simply knowing he is God and he has a plan and he will see it through completion (Philippians 1:4-6) is my comfort.). That does mean constant reminders that Christ does have a plan and it is for good. I must also remind myself that my definition of good most likelydoesn't line up with Gods. I base my thoughts and plans on wordlyviews. I try not to, but I'm a sinner and it's inevitable. It's difficult to want and desire and realize that my wants and desires may not be God's will or at least his will for me. It's hard to give control of my life over to him. It means I have to humble myself and I can see where pride constantly gets in the way of my letting God's will come to fruition in my life. 

You must crave pure spiritual milk so that you can grow into the fullness of your salvation. Cry out for this nourishment as a baby crieds for milk, now that you have had a taste of the Lord's kindness.

1 Peter 2:2-3

I crave spiritual milk. I want my relationship with God to grow. There are times when I sit and wonder what my personal relationship with him will look like in 40 years. The same way many wonder on their wedding day what their relationship will be like on thier 50th wedding anniversary. We so often look for someone to share our lives with that we can see ourselves growing old with. This is the same with Jesus. How much more can I learn? How much more can he teach me? I can't wait at times to sit on a rocking chair on my porch in my 80's and look back and see how far my faith has come. Will I still struggle with the same issues? Will there be more? I want to know how I will grow and love and mature...

Knocking

I want so badly for God to take control of certain areas of my life. I yearn for him to direct me in some relationships, some aspects of my life. I give them freely over to him. I even beg him to take control. I realized yesterday I don't do this with every area. Is he not my God in every part of my life? Should I not let him have control over all things? Some things I don't even thing to bring to him or to ask him to help me with. Big things. I let myself become overwhelmed and feel helpless. It's so strange to me. Such a sign of weakness in my spiritual life. I need to let him into every area. I need to trust him with my life not just the little parts I don't want to deal with anymore. He is able and willing to take it all. I don't know why it has to be such a struggle for me to just ask him to take it? He wants to take my pain. I'm not supposed to be in control. I wish it wasn't so hard for me to just give it all over and ask him to take over everything. It's scary though. Letting go certainly isn't what we are taught today to do. We are taught as women to take on more, that we are equal, there is nothing we cannot do. 
"Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in" Rev. 3:20

He's there waiting, asking...

"His word my hope secures". We sang amazing grace last night in church. That phrase stuck out at me. I've been praying over it and constantly thinking about it since. It's a good feeling.

Needing him...

As I wrote previously, I love the closeness I feel to God when things are shattered and I need, truly, need his help to go on and make it through my day. When I'm that low it's so easy to worship God. Nothing here on earth will satisfy my...only him. I know that isn't how he wants me to worship and need him. I want to be filled with him every day. I need to pray more, worship more just let him into every part of my life. I don't do this nearly enough. Maybe if I did I would feel him more when things are good. I have to learn how to turn to him more at all times...to continually fill my spirit.

Praying for what?

Going through trials and struggles sucks. It's an awful feeling to be hurt or see others hurt, but at the same time I love how close I feel to God when I'm struggling. The other day I found myself praying for more struggles so I can keep building that relationship with him and keep feeling that closeness. Then I realized what that meant. Sure it's okay if my "struggles" are only surface deep, but what happens if I pray for this closeness to deepen and I lose someone close to me or something else unimanginable happens? Will my faith be strong enough to see me through it and come out a better Christian...will I be able to stay as close as I want to God during the most difficult times? I guess right now I'll just be thankful that I don't have to really worry about that. I will learn more, pray more, worship more while things are good so I don't have to worry about my faith waivering when things aren't the greatest.